Tears in the rain
by orange twilight
Summary: Carter and Abbey get closer (wink wink) rated r for graphic voilence, some of it's not nice beware! R+R so i can write more!


TEARS IN THE RAIN.  
  
Carter looked around the small dark room for any signs of escape, but he'd been right when he'd said that Carter was trapped here, there was no way of ending this torment, all Carter could do was sit wait and pray, pray that the man didn't come back, so he couldn't hurt him anymore, but Carter's luck hadn't held out so far that day so why should now be any different. It had been three days since the nightmare had begun and it showed no sign of ending yet, Carter's parched mouth was screaming for water, he fondly remembered the cup of coffee he'd had before it had all begun. The man hadn't given him anything to eat or drink. There was a scratching from the keyhole he was back. Fear flooded through Carter's veins, he was back. Carter sat bolt upright, instantly awake, he could feel his heart thudding hard in his chest, he breathed a sigh of relief as he realised he was safe in his room, he ran his fingers through his hair, and turned to look at his digital clock beside the bed. 5:00, only an hour before he had to get up anyway. Slowly Carter got out of bed he fumbled in the half darkness for his dressing gown, once he'd put it on he made his way to the bathroom. He stood over the sink staring at his reflection in the mirror, it was the third time it had happened that night, and he looked all the worst for it. He turned on the tap, letting the cool water flow over his trembling hands. He washed his face in the water and made his way down stairs, then a thought hit him, his parents were coming today. For once he was glad he had been waiting all week for their visit, to thank them for putting an end to his imprisonment. To begin with he couldn't believe that they had given in and paid the ransom, but the more he though about it the more it made sense, he was their only son, why shouldn't they give in to the kidnappers demands? Either way he didn't care why they he was just glad they did.  
  
It was a busy day in the ER, and Carter was rushed off his feet, but he preferred it that way, it didn't give him time to think, no time to remember. He had been surprised by how uninterested his colleagues were, normally they loved a new story to talk about, but no one had seemed to want to know what happened, they were just glad he was okay. To begin with he hadn't given it much thought, but now something was niggling him, were they hiding something? But Carter was called for a trauma before he could give it anymore thought.  
  
Carter's dad had come to the ER to find him, and to see how he was; they were sat opposite each other in a deserted cafeteria. "How was your flight?" Carter asked. "Long" His father replied with a smile. "How are you? Your mother and I are sorry we couldn't make it sooner" "It's okay, I'm just glad it's over" "We're sorry" "For what?" Carter became worried. "For not paying the ransom" "What? I thought" words failed him. "No we didn't, and I'm sorry" "Oh" Carter felt numb; "Oh" He said again not knowing what else to say, his father shifting uneasily in his chair. "I'm sorry John, I thought you knew" "No" Speaking was difficult for him as he could feel his throat close up "I just assumed that, that you did" "Well we didn't last time, you know when" His dad tried to explain. "But that was different, he wasn't family" Carter stopped as a wave of nausea rolled over him, did this mean that they didn't value him more than one of their employees? Carter had to push the thought from his mind. "But I'm glad you're okay" His dad said and smiled briefly, he looked at his watch. "I'm sorry John I've got a meeting to go to will you be at the house later?" But Carter still couldn't speak, he just sat dead still trying to figure things out in his mind, he didn't even hear his dad leave but he was glad that he did, Carter couldn't stand looking at him for another second. His chest was tight and his breathing was laboured, he put his head in his hands, he just wanted to curl up under a rock and die. Another thought pushed it's way to the front of his mind, who had paid the money if it wasn't his parents? He sat alone as the minutes ticked passed descending deeper into shock and despair when Susan finally found him. "Carter" She said as she walked over to him. She pulled a nearby chair next to him, and sat down. She could see that his body was shaking and she could hear his short scratchy breathing, she gabbed his arm, and made him look at her. His eyes glistening with tears, which he tried to blink away but couldn't. Susan pulled him closer to her, and embraced him in her arms; he began to sob on her shoulder. Gently she ran her fingers through his hair trying to soothe him.  
  
Carter was sat in the back of one of his grandfathers' town cars. He didn't know how he had managed to do his shift he felt dead inside, he had to make a conscious effort to stop himself from breaking down in front of everyone. As the shock slowly ebbed away misery was all that remained, his parents hadn't saved him, they would of just left him there to rot. But who had saved him? He thought he knew the answer to this question; he had a sneaking suspicion that it had been his friends at the ER, but some how this failed to reassure him. He got out of the car and walked slowly up to the house desperately not wanting to go in, knowing all to well what he would find behind the doors, no one. Taking a deep breath to reassure himself, he opened the door, and walked in, the door softly clicking behind him. It was just as he feared, the hall was empty, quietly he walked upstairs to his room and shut the door, dumping his bag on the floor, he walked over to his bed and buried his head in the pillows, he wanted to block out the outside world, he couldn't stand this any longer. He rolled over and lay on his side suddenly realising that he was exhausted, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep  
  
The man was standing over him, with a shot gun in his hand, Carter desperately pleaded for the man to stop for him to let him go, but he laughed long and shrill the noise sent shivers through his body, but the man said no more, for his actions spoke louder than words ever could. Carter suddenly woke up. The nightmares seemed too real, to fresh to cope with, every time he closed his eyes he was back there. Quickly he got up, unable to rest any longer and walked towards the door, but something stopped him from opening it, he couldn't go down stairs, they were down there and he still wasn't ready to face his family, the family which wouldn't save him, the family which didn't care. As if reading his mind, there was a knock at the door, quickly Carter went back to the bed and pretended to be asleep. The door slowly opened, the noise brought terrifying memories flying to the front of his mind, he jumped and opened his eyes. "I didn't mean too wake you" His mother was standing by the door she closed and walked over to where Carter lay on the bed, sitting beside him, she took one of his shaking hands and held it in hers. "Are you cold? You're shaking" She was concerned Carter couldn't bring himself to speak to her and merely shook his head by way of response. "Are you sure, I could get some extra blankets brought up?" "No, I'm fine" He finally spoke. They sat in silence for a minute; neither one really knowing what to say to the other, his mother was the first one to break the silence. "Have you spoken to your father?" "Yeah, he came down to the ER" How could she not know? That was typical of his mother to wrapped up in her own life to bother with anyone else's. "John I . I don't know what to say" He could hear her voice breaking as her eyes filled up with tears. "I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?" Carter remained silent he avoided looking at her, he wasn't ready to do this, not yet. "I want to make it better, I want the hurt to go away" She continued, after she got no reply, she got up letting go of his hand, she turned and left.  
  
Carter was glad to be back in the ER the tension at home was unbearable; at least here he would be busy. He walked into the lounge and opened his locker. He heard the door open, he turned and saw that Abbey had come in, he smiled at her and she smiled back. Carter turned back to his locker. "How are you doing?" Abbey asked his back, Carter turned around to face her. "Fine" They still weren't the best of friends. "Carter I'm sorry" "What for?" Carter was beginning to get sick of people telling him that. "For everything, and don't look at me like I'm a fool, I shouldn't of said anything" Abbey turned to leave. "Abbey" She stopped momentarily "I know" They were the only 2 words he needed to say. Abbey turned to face him. "Oh" She seemed shocked, but she recovered her composure. "Now I really am sorry" She heard someone beyond the door calling for her, with one last glance at Carter she left the lounge.  
  
Carter's shift was long over but he didn't want to go home, not yet, so he had snuck up to the roof, where he could be alone, but like most things in the ER he didn't manage to escape un noticed it wasn't long until Mark came up to find him. "God it's cold up here" "Is it? I didn't notice" Carter tried not too sound angry, but he didn't do to well. "Abbey told me what you said" "I thought she might" "Carter, I don't know what to say to you" Mark stood next to Carter "Just don't say you're sorry," Carter said turning to face him. "You've been hearing that a lot lately?" "More than you know" Carter turned and looked out over the Chicago skyline, after a moments silence he spoke again. "Thank you" he kept his gaze focused in the middle distance, Mark understood how he was feeling, but he didn't want to leave him alone. "I'm just sorry that we had to do it" He saw Carter cringe slightly, knowing that he'd hit a nerve "Opps I said the sorry word" They smiled. "Do you want to talk about it? I know Abbey will kill me if I get to you first, but I think I'll live dangerously" "Abbey?" the name instantly caught his attention. "She was running around trying to find you, when I bumped into her and she told me what you said" "Oh is she still here?" He tried to make the question sound casual "I don't know I haven't seen her since, and I take it that that was a no I don't want to talk about it?" Mark smiled gently to Carter. "Do you mind?" "No, and I don't have to tell you that if you need to talk I'm here right?" Carter nodded, he paused for a minute "Don't be too long, it really is cold" with that Mark left Carter alone. It wasn't long until Abbey came flying through the door and out into the cold night air, Carter didn't even turn to look at her he knew she was there, and he felt better for it. "There you are, I've been looking for you" "Yeah Mark said" Carter still didn't make eye contact. "Hey, what . are you?" she said softly, but Abbey couldn't finish her sentences she walked and stood next to Carter staring out at Chicago slowly and gently she put her hand on his, Carter closed his eyes at feeling her warm touch on his cold hands. "How are you coping?" she asked softly. "It's hard, but I'll be okay" He lied he was far from okay. They both stood in silence for a moment longer, each trying to build up the courage to speak again. "Can you, . what happened?" Abbey asked. Carter closed his eyes in an effort to stop the tears forming; his breathing became shaky and uneven. Abbey sensing Carters discomfort squeezed his hand a little tighter. He turned his head to look at her, his eyes shinning in the light. "You look tired?" Abbey was concerned "Why don't you go home and sleep?" "Thanks" He smiled "I . umm . I'm having trouble sleeping at the moment, I . I err keep getting these nightmares." He looked away again. "Oh Carter" Abbey made him look at her, seeing the tears in his eyes she wrapped her arms around him, and held him tightly, she could feel him shaking. "You're freezing, come on let's get you inside" Abbey tried to get Carter to walk inside but he refused to move. "I'm fine you can go if you're cold, but I'm fine" "Carter, your lips are turning blue, now I'm not taking no for an answer" Abbey insisted, Carter shrugged and let Abbey take him inside.  
  
Abbey had insisted on taking Carter home, she couldn't stand the thought of him being all alone whilst his family were away on business. They got out of the cab and Abbey paid the driver. The rain was pelting down hard, Abbey was glad of her thick waterproof coat but unfortunately Carter wasn't so lucky his thin shirt was soaked through, Carter quickly produced a set of keys and opened the door. They stumbled in and walked into his front room, Carter flicked on the lights and they collapsed on the sofa. After resting in silence for a few minutes Abbey noticed that Carter was dripping wet. "You're soaked" she turned and faced him, she reached forward and started to undo his shirt "Let's get you out of this wet shirt and into a dry one" But Carter pulled away. "It's okay" "No it's not, now hold still and stop being such a baby" Abbey reached back over and finished unbuttoning his shirt, letting it fall open she gently eased it down his shoulders and through his arms, letting the shirt fall to the floor. She turned and looked at him, she let out of gasp of horror when she realised that Carters body was covered in cuts and bruises she stared at him for a moment unable to comprehend the extent of what Carter must of gone through in the week he was held hostage. Carter smiled weakly to try and reassure Abbey that he was okay, but his eyes betrayed him, they were unmistakably etched with hurt and fear. "Oh my god" Abbey finally said, her eyes began to fill with tears, after all that Carter had been through in just the short time she'd known him, let alone before, he was the last person who deserved to be treated in such a brutal way. She let her tears flow freely; Carter was shivering with anguish as much as cold. Seeing Abbey cry was tearing him apart and what was worse he was the cause of her pain. "I'm sorry John, here I am being all emotional whilst you're freezing to death, come on let's get you a dry shirt" Abbey pulled herself together, and led Carter upstairs to his room. He sat on his bed tired and drained; he couldn't keep this up for long, Abbey sat next to him, staring at his wounds again, just wanting to touch them to make them better, Carter turned to face her, she was sat close to him, slowly she reached out her hand and ever so gently she touched a large cut which ran across his ribs. Carter flinched at her touch. "How did he do this" Abbey asked quietly "Umm, he had a knife and umm" Carter was beginning to find breathing difficult; he struggled for some air before continuing. "He . he said that I, umm" Carter closed his eyes as the memories came flooding intensely back, a single tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry" Abbey said as she wiped the tear away from his face. "Me too" Carter said as he breathed deeply. She helped him lie down on the bed, he rested his head on her lap and she tenderly ran her fingers through his hair. Carter felt the waves of slumber wash over him, lulling him to sleep.  
  
Carter felt the air being forced from his body as he was thrown across the room like a toy; he lay still on the floor gasping for air desperately trying to take in air, the man slowly walked over too where Carter lay, he kicked Carter until he lay flat on his back. The man then knelt on him, burying his knees into Carters stomach, he then unsheathed a knife and held over Carters bare chest, fear filled Carter's eyes he was unable to speak, or to scream as the man slowly drew the knife across his chest, he was gulping air frantically, tears welling in his eyes as pain flooded through his body. Carter suddenly woke his lungs screaming for air, he panted heavily, he then saw Abbey's concerned face in front of his own. He saw her hand reach down and he felt it touch his face her soft hands wiping away his salty tears. 


End file.
